Push, Push, Push, Push, Breeeeeeaaaaaaath

WARNING:

The following post is a going to be a real doozie regarding childbirth.

(oh, and I don't use spell check and my writing and grammar sucks, sorry)

So, as I mentioned in my previous post, my labor experience was a very positive one...I might go as far as saying even spiritual. Now, I'm not some crunchy hippy or anything, but it really was great (and this isn't just "childbirth amnesia" talking - I remember everything).

Here is my recap...

I woke up on a Sunday morning with what I thought were Braxton Hicks contractions...just mild, menstrual-like cramping. I didn't really think too much of it, but decided to time them just in case. At 8:30 a.m. they were about 15 minutes apart. Since they were pretty regular I thought that this could be "the day" considering true Braxton Hicks contractions are erratic in nature. I monitored them all day long as I carried on with my day...cleaning, packing my hospital bag, etc.

Fast forward to 5:00 in the evening. My contractions, now 9 minutes apart, had gotten much stronger and I knew for certain that this was indeed the real thing. They weren't anything I couldn't deal with at this point and I could still walk around and do things just fine...in fact, I was still vacuuming and organizing the house.

{My goodness, I was HUGE!}

I wasn't really that hungry for dinner, so my husband and I decided to watch a movie and just try to relax as much as possible until my contractions got to 5 minutes apart. We were told to do just that by our childbirth class instructor..."don't come to the hospital unless your water has broken or your contractions are 5 minutes apart". So, that's just what I tried to do. I also really hate hospitals and didn't want to go in until it was absolutely necessary (we live 7 minutes away from the hospital I gave birth at). At about 8:00 in the evening my contractions started getting pretty intense (we would pause the movie we were watching so I could breath through them) and I decided to just call my doctor to check in. After getting a call back, she told me to go to the hospital to be monitored just to make sure everything was okay.

At about 9:00 in the evening we checked into the hospital and they put me/baby on a heart monitor. At this point I remember thinking to myself "wow, these contractions are totally bearable...what's the big deal?". I could totally talk through them and just had to do some relaxation breathing a few times, but they really weren't as intense as I thought they would be. I've always been cursed with really bad menstrual cramps (I'm talking having to use a heating pad and prescription painkillers bad), so maybe that's why the contractions didn't seem to kick my butt..........yet. After getting a pelvic exam, I was told that I was 4 centimeters dilated and that the baby was indeed on his way! Until then, I was still in denial.

I was immediately hooked up to an IV (which I had never had before and totally freaked me out...it wasn't that bad either...the fear was completely unwarrented) and was given fluid to keep me hydrated. You can't eat or drink anything once you go into labor (at least that was the rule at my hospital) so they pump you full of fluid to keep you hydrated and your sugar level stable. So, now it was just a matter of waiting for me to dilate and for my water to break. This is when it starts getting a bit fuzzy for me because I was getting really tired at this point.

After getting checked for a second time they determined that I was 6 centimeters dilated and decided to break my water. The idea of them using a long chopstick-looking thing in my vajayjay totally freaking the bajeezus out of me, but that was also no big deal. I barely felt a thing! But WOW, the contractions got really STRONG after that. That was the moment I thought to myself "there is NO WAY I am doing this without drugs. NO WAY!". So, at 8 centimeters dilation (the last moment I could wait) I got an epidural.

The epidural was the most painful part of my entire childbirth experience...I never want to go through that again. I think it was because I waited way too long and was already in "transition" (when the contractions are at their peak). Trying to sit still while the anesthesiologist did his thing was pure agony. I think I cried. It really sucked. But then, within minutes I was numb from the waist down...BLISS! I could watch the monitor to see when I was actually having a contraction, but couldn't feel a thing!

So, now I just had to wait, try to get some rest, until I was fully dilated. I rested for about an hour and a half, but couldn't sleep because I had the WORST heartburn ever and I was just too excited and nervous about pushing. My mom and husband, who were with me the whole time, were fast asleep in the room (snoring) and I laid there awake until the nurse came in, checked me one last time and said I was ready to start pushing. Oh Gawd! I was freaking out. I don't know why I was so calm until this point? It just became so real all of a sudden.

My nurse got my doctor and got the bed ready to start pushing. Just so you know, the beds totally transform into a delivery bed which is basically a more comfortable version of the bed you may be used to when you go to the OBGYN. So, I started to push which was interesting considering I was totally numb "down there". I really had to concentrate. This is gross, but the nurse told me to push like I was "pushing a BM". I know, gross right, but it worked.

This is the only scary part...

After about a half an hour of pushing, the baby's head was crowning (yaaay!). However, his heartrate was starting to drop with every contraction and my doctor began to prepare me for the possiblity of using the vacuum to get him out faster. At one point, the baby's heartrate dropped so low that they called the OR to prep it for a c-section (I found this out from my husband after the fact...they didn't want to scare me at the time). This was the moment I realized that my doctor, without telling me, gave me an episiotomy. I saw the snips in her hand and asked "did you just CUT me?!". My husband's face was white. lol. They repositioned me on my left side, gave me oxygen and magically the baby's heartrate regulated. I went back to pushing normally for about 15 more minutes. In the meantime, I noticed that there were many, many more people in the room with us. I think they called the pediatrician (because of the heartrate problem) an intern, a resident and an extra nurse. Get used to the idea of many different people seeing your Ho-Ha. At that point I totally didn't even care who was in the room.

So, then he came out. Let me remind you that I was completely numb down there so this part was completely pain free. I had no idea what was going on, that he was coming out, until my nurse and doctor told me. This part was fast...maybe 30 seconds to get him completely out. I heard him cry and was ecstatic. They put him on my chest and it felt like a dream to be looking down at him after imagining what he would look like for the past 38 weeks. He was a slimy, gooey looking baby. After what felt like a few seconds, the nurses took him away to clean him up.

While they were examining the baby, my nurse gave me Pitocin (which I hadn't needed until this point) in order to prevent bleading by contracting the uterus (I was asking a lot of questions...I'm sure I was annoying the crap out of my nurse). I was still numb, so again, I felt nothing and thank GAWD for that, because I could see the doctor stitching, stitching, and stitching....ouchie and gross.

After we were both cleaned up, my baby was in my arms and I was in LaLaLand. I honestly don't really know what happened from here on...I was exhausted. I had a healthy baby boy, I was healthy and my husband managed to not faint during the experience so it was time for me to sleep and sleep I did.

The days in the hospital during recovery were surreal and gross. I wished someone had warned me about how nasty and uncomfortable recovery would be. That I would need help going to the bathroom and taking a shower...seriously, it was humiliating and painful. I know everyone is different, but I just want to put this out there so that my girlfriends (you know who you are ;) ) who are going to have their first baby might be more prepared for recovery than I was.

All in all, the entire experience wasn't bad and I hope to be fortunate enough to be able to experience it again in the future. We are so happy to be parents and love our little one more than words can express!!


The End (the beginning).